Cute Things Dying Violently

Everyone loves cute things, it’s just a given. Even those manly men, with hardly any neck or hair, enjoy cute things – they just can’t admit it in public otherwise they can grow necks at amazing rates. Cute things are just a staple of life, from puppies and kittens to lemmings and surprised hamsters. Killing these things to almost all people seems like an impossible feat, which is why Cute Things Dying Violently is a game that’s perfect for everyone.

Killing is fun, we all know it. That’s why generic war games are so popular these days, people like to get big guns and shoot things, in realistic ways such as Battlefield and unrealistic ways such as Doom or Halo. However, in Cute Things Dying Violently, neither of these ways of committing the ultimate act against humanity is utilised. Instead, the gamer gets to control a number of little blue blobs and move them left or right and then throw them in the air.

The reason the concept sounds simple is because it is, and the gameplay has clearly been honed to ensure it’s as easy to pick up as the rationale behind the title. There are a few tutorial levels and some prompts in level to help you get used to the gameplay, but often these are not required due to the intuitive nature of the game. The aim of each level is to get as many “Cute Things” into the lift as possible. This can be achieved by throwing the cute thing into the lift, over, under or around a number of destructive items, such as electric, fire, massive saws, acid and even boss enemies. Fail to miss one of these killing items and your cute thing will be dead and blood will fly across the level.

Before long you become desensitised to all of the blood, which is a good thing as there are bonus levels for completing certain objectives in the game. These bonus levels will vary a lot; however, the most gruesome level has to be the one where the aim of the game is to murder all of the cute little things. To actually kill these little things is very easy and blood flying around everywhere is a remarkable sight.

The levels themselves are well designed and unlike many indie games, they owe nothing to luck. Each level is cleverly designed to ensure that they are not only gradually more challenging, but the completion of each level has a level of satisfaction as your skills are really what completed the game – not just a lucky throw.

Graphically speaking the game is somewhat basic, the designs are basic cartoons and whilst this could shout “indie game”, the aesthetic lends itself well to the murderous style of the game. A little touch up here or there would take the game from basic to well drawn. Whilst the music isn’t something you will hear orchestrated by the London Philharmonic Orchestra, it suits the game and is relaxing and enjoyable.

The developer has even gone as far as allowing users to create their own levels, with a level creating option. This is a lot of fun and is very easy to use, whilst there are no real “tutorials” on how to create a level, the basics are there and it only takes a few minutes to understand how to actually create the most gruesome and impossible levels for your friends to try and complete.

The main problem with Cute Things Dying Violently isn’t that it’s impossible to put down, although this is a problem, it’s that the cute things aren’t cute enough to really care if you’ve killed it or not. Although they chant adorable sentences, such as “I love you very much” you couldn’t really care less if it did, indeed, love you. This could be solved by putting kitten’s faces in the way, or something that’s less alien as the lead character; however, that might push the game from being enjoyable to horrible.

Even so, the game is enjoyable, addictive and needs to be played for a long period before being put down. It’s a great addition to the murderous puzzle games in the world.